A few days ago, my colleague and I ended up talking about embarrassing moments we’d had at work.  Although I’ll never come close to beating the time an OA at my previous job told a man to “put your foreskin” against the rest, I’ve had a fair few cringe worthy moments.

The funniest involves a lady I saw a few years ago.  Her name was Mrs Dick.

In that practice, I would pick up the board from beside the waiting area, call the patient’s name and then we would both walk to the test room at the back of the shop.  The whole thing would take a minute or two and I would chat to the patient as we walked.  Usually, I’d comment on the weather or ask how they were today.

But not for Mrs Dick.  No, I decided to comment on her name.

What I meant to say was:

“I didn’t realise how common the name Dick was around here.”

What I said was:

“I’ve seen a lot of Dicks recently.”

She laughed (thank God) and I scrambled to correct myself.

“No, what I meant was: there are loads of Dicks around here.”

By this time, we were in the room and she was chuckling away.  Although I could feel the colour creeping into my cheeks, I decided to give it one last shot:

“No, I mean, [town name] is full of Dicks.”

Tears were rolling down her face by this time and her laugh was infectious.  Here we were: her bent double with laughter and me with a bright red face and tears streaming down my cheeks.  I was laughing so hard that it was painful.

When we’d collected ourselves a little, she said, “I’ll give you a laugh.  My maiden name was Wright and my mother used to joke that I should have hyphenated my name… I passed up the opportunity to be a Wright-Dick!”

And we were off again, laughing.  I don’t know how we managed to get an eye test done.

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